Stock image of a doctor’s office waiting room.Photo:Getty
Getty
A TikToker opening up about her experiences trying to conceive is getting honest about the accommodations those struggling should have access to.
TikToker@indiabatsonwent viral on the platform earlier this month when she made a video making a “recommendation to OBGYN offices,” going on to propose “a different waiting area if you’re there for a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, a ruptured ectopic pregnancy.”
“If you’re there for a loss, I’d like there to be a separate waiting room than the regular waiting room because sitting in that waiting room next to tons of pregnant women while you wait to go back toget bloodwork to see if your HCG is back to zerosucks, like it absolutely sucks.”
Speaking to PEOPLE, she explains. “I’ve experienced back-to-backpregnancy losses, and in September of last year, I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and had to be rushed into emergency surgery to remove my fallopian tube on the right side. Then, a couple of months later, we began to try again, and we got pregnant in January of this year, and I had a miscarriage last month.”
India found that the women in her life didn’t open up to her about pregnancy loss until she disclosed her own, despite it happening inone in four pregnancies.
“I think it’s something that society has placed a stigma around. Women often experience guilt and shame. It’s something we don’t shine a light on. We don’t speak about it, hiding in our homes and dealing with it alone,” she explains.
When returning to her OBGYN to check her bloodwork, India experienced “a rush of emotion that I was not expecting from being back in the same room where I found out that my child had passed away inside of me,” she says.
“I’m so happy for those women who are pregnant, I celebrate them … But sitting next to visibly pregnant women in that waiting room when you were there for a follow-up after pregnancy loss is mentally challenging, to say the least,” she says.
Stock image of a woman with her arms crossed over her stomach consulting with a doctor.Tetra Images / Getty Images
India isgrateful to have started a larger conversationregarding stigma and pregnancy loss and to provide resources that are scarce for women going through the experience.
“When I was experiencing my pregnancy losses, I immediately went to social media to look for women who had also experienced rupturingectopic pregnanciesand miscarriages. I frankly didn’t find a lot of candid conversations or content on social media of women going through what I was experiencing and seeking out,” she says.
“I wanted to create that content I was looking for myself in hopes that someone who’s going toexperience a miscarriagein a month will then find my videos and hopefully feel less alone.”
India was grateful for the “overwhelmingly positive response” to the video from other women who “are longing to be seen and heard and valued and not viewed as hysterical for looking for empathetic, trauma-informed care from our medical providers.”
“It proves there are resolutions; there are ways to go about it. I’m a realistic individual; I do understand that not every single OBGYN office in America has the capacity to have separate waiting rooms. There are alternatives, however, such as staggered schedules, that can help provide these women with dignity. They can have empathetic and compassionate care after experiencing a pregnancy loss. It is possible.”
Stock image of woman with hand on her stomach.Getty Images/Laurence Monneret
India admits, “Trying to conceive has definitely not been the journey that I was anticipating, but such is life.”
She continues about her own plans, “We’re currently taking a break for my body to heal and hopefully will begin to try again in May.”
India is grateful for the “beautiful and healing experience” it has been to have women share their stories with her.
“To hear someone say, ‘Oh my gosh, I had the exact same experience’ — and on so many videos, not just one in particular — is moving. I’ve always said that women are stronger when we’re together, when we rally behind each other. Clearly, that’s what’s happening, where we’re all coming together and raising our voices.”
source: people.com
